I almost ran over Bif Naked.
Trying to find parking on Oct. 1 at the Back Alley was harder than finding Osama bin Laden.
I ended up in the back alley behind the Back Alley, weaving between the tour buses and pickup trucks, when who should stumble out from her travel bus, but Bif herself. And I responded in a manner worthy of such a star-sighting.
"Who's the dumb bitch with the dog?"
Thankfully, she avoided my steadily (but slowly) oncoming vehicle, walked inside and burst the 'Alley wide open.
Following solid performances by fellow Canadian groups Live on Release and Static in Stereo, Bif Naked came out on a small stage, and proceeded to whip the crowd into a beer-fueled frenzy.
The crowd consisted of two types: hard-core Bif fans who sang along to all her songs, old and new; and silly children who missed the true days of mosh pits and would have crowd-surfed at a Backstreet Boys concert had this show been canceled.
The Back Alley proved once again to be an abysmal venue for live shows, with an overly loud sound systems that would have made even Lover Boy into a spine-shaking sound experience. The sight lines for the stage were immediately blocked by fans standing on nearby tables, and the beer was expensive and warm.
But none of that is Bif Naked's fault. Her concert, what of it could be heard, was a good mix of proven older material, and new songs from her new CD, Purge.
The new disc includes "I Love Myself Today," MuchMusic's newest favourite follow-up video after their tenth consecutive viewing of Nickelback's "How You Remind Me." The song is energetic, and decidedly more positive than some of Bif's earlier work. As a whole, the disc is softer than I, Bificus. But a softer, more vulnerable Bif Naked is still a Bif Naked that could kick Nelly Furtado's ass, both musically and physically. Although she's but a twig of a woman, she pumps out a sound that embiggens the smallest of her fans.
And that was the case at the Back Alley as well. The mosh pit of teens at Bif's feet seemed to hold more females than any pit I had ever before beheld. The crowd surged with her every move, roared when she cursed, and held her up as an idol of Canadian rock 'n' roll. Despite the bad location, and the moshing fans who seem to have mistook Bif for Alien Ant Farm, she still managed to send all those who heard her out into the midnight cold with a feeling that they had experienced one of the premier concerts of the year. Yes, at the Back Alley. Guess it's a good thing I didn't run her down.